It Can’t ALL Be Done Today

Sometimes it feels like I’m being crushed under the weight of all the things I need to get done. Not the regular, every day stuff like dishes, laundry or groceries (although that can also feel crushing); but the big stuff that will lead towards the major life goals I’ve set for myself. 

I don’t make hyper-specific goals anymore, but I do have two that are probably generally important to all of us: climbing the financial security ladder and owning a home. The financial goal is particularly stressful because for 12 years I was warm and cozy in the financial security of a two income household. Add to that, the last time I had been the sole bread winner, I was working in the corporate world where I was making quite a bit of money but was having my soul sucked out of my body. (Dramatic, I know. But that’s what it felt like.) Now I’m a working artist, doing well, but not “corporate money” well, yet. AND ADD TO THAT, raising two kids who will continue to get more expensive as they grow. 

The second goal is seemingly less stressful because I’ve actually owned two homes before, so I know how the process works from top to bottom. But, again, that was with the combined income of my ex-husband and I. Now it’s all up to me and what my sole income can afford to pay for a mortgage. Which means I need to work even harder to increase my sole income so that I can afford something worthwhile that will house the kids and I for at least a decade, in the location that’s best for their schooling. 

Needless to say, there are A TON of things I need to be working on to accomplish these goals. And sometimes my mind starts to spiral thinking about how to get all these things done. This is when my anxiety kicks in and I start to get incredibly down on myself for not working hard enough or not accomplishing things fast enough. I get angry at myself if I feel like I haven’t done anything that day that moves me towards my goals. I minimize the things I actually did get done in a day, and only focus on what hasn’t gotten done. And pretty soon, my anxiety intensifies so much, that I completely shut down. 

Obviously, shut-down-mode, is not helpful at all. So recently, I came up with a mantra for myself when I can feel my brain start to spiral: ‘It can’t ALL be done today’. Along with repeating this over and over, I’ve started choosing at least one thing I can do that will chip away at the goal, and then celebrating that day’s accomplishment instead of chastising myself for what wasn’t done. 

It’s a simple shift in thinking, and some days it takes all my mental strength to implore it to get out of the spiral, but it is helping. And this past January I got to see that my effort is actually working when for the first time in the 2 years since my separation, I didn’t have to dip into savings to pay rent. 

So if you are an artist like me, please try to remember: life as an artist, as an entrepreneur, can feel incredibly insecure and it can trigger some severe anxiety. So be kind to yourself. And celebrate the things you DID get accomplished, and before you know it, those things will add up and you’ll be on your way to reaching your goal…Or so I hope!